Today’s Fortune: Very little be needed t’ make a happy life.

This be one o’ our favorite days o’ t’ year! It be Talk Like a Pirate Day, and it looks like even my fortune be pirate! Me and Puglet finally got our slimy pirate adventure set grown, but it took a while t’ do it.

We had t’ move t’ pieces into bigger containers, because they outgrew those glasses pretty smartly.

I’ll be darned if those adventure set pieces didn’t have t’ be moved again! This time, we put them in a great big clear bowl where they would have plenty o’ room t’ grow. I kept a pretty close eye on ’em t’ make aye they were gettin’ bigger. And slimier.

Today they be as big and squishy and slimy as they be goin’ t’ get. T’ pirate will not stand up by himself, and his face looks kind o’ moldy. T’ pirate ship mast and sail be floppy, and t’ Jolly Roger looks like an alien. But t’ treasure chest looks pretty good, and me and Puglet have had a good time watchin’ ’em grow, so all in all, we recommend gettin’ a set like this if ye’ don’t already have one. Don’t underestimate t’ value o’ havin’ a big slimy squishy pirate.

In case ye’ be wonderin’ how I learned t’ talk like a pirate so good, I will let ye’ in on a secret. I be not fluent in pirate. I went t’ t’ Talk Like a Pirate Translator. Ye’ can talk like a pirate by typin’ in whatever ye’ want t’ say, and clickin’ “Ahoy”. But unless you’re practicin’ t’ be a real pirate, save it for special occasions like September 19 and maybe Halloween. Otherwise, it will wind up like Pig Latin, and people will just roll their eaye when ye’ speak it.

Happy Talk Like a Pirate day, buckos! Arrrrrrrrr!