Noah's Adventures

My snazzy new wardrobe….

Today’s Fortune: An admirer is too shy to greet you.

I wonder who that might be? It is probably somebody who has seen me in my new clothes and thinks that I am a different monkey than they remember.  Whoever you are, admirer, please know that I am just the same old Noah. I just got some new clothes, is all.

I am glad Mom finally got me some clothes, even if she did not knit them. She is working on getting me some sweaters and pants made, which is good, because these clothes do not fit me quite right. I was very excited to get a Karate suit, so I could practice my Kung Fu grip, Samurai skills, and WWF moves. It did not fit very well, though.

The shirt is way too small, and the pants are really just shorts.  All of my new clothes are made for bears, because that is all you can buy at the stores we went to.  I have noticed a couple of things while shopping for clothes.  First, bears are shaped really stupid.  They are very short and very chubby, which means that anybody who tries to wear their clothes looks kind of silly.  Second, the world needs monkey clothing.  I may have to work on that.  Mom said I could be a thing called a “designer.”  I could tell her what to make and she will make it for me in what she calls her “sweatshop”.  The first thing she needs to make is a Karate suit, because this one is embarrassing.

The pants from the Karate suit work out pretty well as shorts, though.  They go good with the shirts and hats I got.  Mom said I should do a thing called a “photo spread”.  That is where they show pictures in magazines of what you should wear.  She said when you pick out stuff to wear together it is called an “ensemble.”  My first outfit is my Baseball Ensemble.  It has a red jacket and I wear it with the Karate shorts.  I like to wear this one a lot.  It is comfortable, and the jacket is warm.  I do need to get a baseball and a bat, though.

I got some good hats and a tote bag while we were shopping, too.  Mom says those are called “accessories.”  When you have accessories, you can “mix and match” to get different looks.  I got a good straw cowboy hat, which I wear with the baseball jacket and Karate shorts.  That turns the outfit into a Farm Ensemble.

You can put the same jacket and pants with a tote bag full of crayons and pezzes and stuff and create a Monkey on the Go Ensemble.

I also got a blue shirt to wear with my Karate shorts.  This is called my Bowling Ensemble.

Mom says the hat does not go with this outfit at all, but I think she is wrong about this one.  I think it makes for a very distinguished bowling league look.   Or it would also work if you needed to go someplace fancy after bowling, and you didn’t have time to change, because you can dress up the bowling shirt with the good hat.

Now I need a bowling ball and a dinner invitation to prove it.  Here is the same look, shown as my Fancy Dinner Ensemble.

I really like my new shirts and shorts, but I hope I get some stuff that actually fits soon.  If I do, I will donate these to some naked bears.

I hope that admirer of mine can see that I am still  just me.  I don’t really believe all that stuff about the clothes making the monkey.  But I do hope Dharma likes my snazzy new wardrobe.

Today’s Vocabulary Words: Designer, sweatshop,  photo spread, ensemble, accessories, mix and match

11 Comments

  • Noah

    Hi, Sassy!

    My mom has already been talking about the stuff she wants to make for you! She has sparkaly plans for your wardrobe! We will have fun. We can have a fashion show if she ever makes anything good for me to wear. Love, Noah

  • Big Monkey

    I have the Kung Fu fighting song stuck in my head. Every monkey was kung fu fighting…. That monkey was fast as lightning. I agree that there needs to be a line of clothing specifically for sock monkeys. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to the Build A Bear store, but their stuff is way too big.

    – Big Monkey

  • Noah

    Hi, Big Monkey!

    We have not been to that store, but I kind of figured their stuff would be too big. My mom is going to make some clothes for me. The problem with sock monkey clothes is that we are all different sizes. Love, Noah

  • Noah

    Hi, Big Monkey!

    I do not have big forearms. I have small ones. You must work out. That will probably make an impression on Hoda. Love, Noah

  • Big Monkey

    I call my Popeye forearms my “guns”. I adopted that term from the great actor Will Ferrell in the movie “Anchorman.” The funny part was that his arms weren’t actually very big. From what I’ve heard, I think my guns do impress the ladies.

    Big Monkey

  • Noah

    Hi, Big Monkey!

    I have been wanting to see Anchorman, but Mom says it is too silly. So I have to settle for Napoleon Dynamite. Love, Noah

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